Hello Internet. It’s me, Maggie 🙂
I’ve processed a lot of my grief, so I’m mostly functional again. I wasn’t for a little while, but I’m better now.
I sewed for my dolls a lot during my mourning period. When I get the gumption I hope to share some of my new dolly dressed here on my blog. I also revamped my Etsy store and may even post some things to sell in March or April. I would be really proud of myself if I could do that. With selling my doll clothes, I always have great, extravagant plans, but I get bogged down in my perfectionistic nature and then don’t do much of anything because I am so busy making it perfect that I lose sight of the goal, which is getting the doll clothes online so they can be sold. The goal is to make money and get the doll clothes to the masses. I get lost in the details of the journey and forget about the destination. Can anyone identify with me? Nope? Must just be me then ;-).
Another thing I’m working on is getting my food back into its proper place. Today I’ve started to, once again, write it all down, and plan it in advance. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve gained 9-pounds. There is no way I am ever allowing myself to go back to the misery of being morbidly obese. It just hurts too much. So I’m biting the bullet, admitting that I am the problem, and that God is the solution, and surrendering to the fact that if I don’t write down what I eat, I will only gain weight and wind up being fat forever. That is not an option. It can’t be an option. I don’t want to be sick for the rest of my life, so I have to do what I have to do, no matter how distasteful. *Sigh.* I really don’t like writing down everything I eat, but if I want to lose weight, then I have to submit to the process. Ugh. Reality stinks sometimes. Denial is such a lovely place to live, but it doesn’t help my problem. Which is eating too much.
Later today I will try to upload my menu plan for the day. No one may be interested, but it’s good for my self-discipline. Did you know that temperance (self-control) is one of the Fruits of the Spirit?
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.–Galatians 5:22-25
I have tidily overlooked this little bit of information for many years. A friend pointed it out a few months ago, and I have been mediating upon it ever since. I have affections and lusts for food in greater quantities than my body needs. Seeing as I am a Christian, then it’s high time I crucified my flesh by laying down my compulsive over eating at the cross. I’ve done it mentally dozens of times, but my actions have to be evidence of my faith. The action I am taking is planning and recording my food.
*Sigh.* Practicing what I preach is so much harder than just telling people to do as I say and not as I do. Integrity, I think, is a very expensive character trait. The cost is my pride. A very high price indeed.